Water Cooler

Posted by: L

I've had this photo saved on my phone for a while (ok, since March!) and am finally getting around to sharing.

I snapped this gem inside our Company's break room refrigerator.

Yes, that is a gallon of milk with date, time, and fill-marks indicating the precise milk status at the last use.

What's worse is that I actually had the pleasure or witnessing the labeling going down. A story for another day, folks.

Water Cooler

Posted by: L

I thought this little ditty might cheer up some of you post-Grads currently job searching. You know, in between trying to compose cover letters, whining to your friends on g-chat about how you hate being unemployed, and aggressively searching the internet for YouTube videos and browsing the GoodBook.

From the best of Craigslist, I'm re-posting The Top 10 Law Firm Interview Questions here for your enjoyment (all while hoping there is no copyright violation or some related shit that I have yet to learn about).

Enjoy!

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One of the worst experiences in law school has been the ritual of submitting applications for summer employment and then going through a series of 20-minute screening interviews that would put a marine drill sergeant to shame when it comes to humiliating and dehumanizing you. Here are my top-ten (least) favorite questions, and how I actually answered them as opposed to how I would have liked to answer them.

1. Why are you interested in this firm?

What I said: Your firm handled (insert name of case I read on their website) which I found to be exciting because it was just like another case I was reading in this class I got an A in. I've also asked some (read: none) upper class-men about your office and they said it's a great work environment.

What I thought: I looked through your attorney roster and saw that you hire people who do not appear to have any honors and come from bad law schools. That made me think that I have a chance to work here.

2. Why did you go to law school?

What I said: I went to law school because I want to be able to make a difference. Legal work allows me to be competitive and to work for justice, both of which are important things in my life.

What I thought: That's a good question, and I ask myself it daily. I'd have to say the answer is, stupidity.

3. Do you think your grades are an accurate reflection of the kind of work you will do as an attorney?

What I said: Law school has been a challenge, and I think my grades reflect that. More important than my grades, which by the way have steadily improved over my academic career, is my dedication to the work I do. My performance during my summer jobs is the best indicator of how I will work, and you will find that my previous employers were all pleased with me (or at least forgot who I am and so will not remember the fuck ups).

What I thought: My grades are absolutely a good reflection of how I will work. I will put in the minimum amount of effort needed to not get fired, and I will approach my job with contempt and disinterest.

4. What would you say is your greatest weakness?

What I said: My greatest weakness is that I get too personally involved with my work. For instance, when I am working on trial prep, and then the case settles favorably, I feel as though it should have gone to trial anyway, despite knowing that the settlement is what's best for our firm and our client.

What I thought: Pussy. If there are any females in your office, you can be certain I will work twice as hard to get into their pants as I will to make my billables. And yes, since you require us to bill 1,900 hours, that means I will be sexually harassing my co-workers 3,800 hours a year.

5. Tell us about a recent mistake that you have made.

What I said: I accidentally misfiled a case at work that was set to go to trial the next week. As soon as I realized this, I alerted my supervisor and disaster was averted.

What I thought: An even bigger mistake I've made has been wasting 20 minutes of my life in this interview instead of taking a dump, that would have been much more satisfying and productive.

6. What do you do for fun?

What I said: I enjoy jogging, skydiving, and traveling to exotic countries.

What I thought: When I really want to have fun, I grab my "Big Butt Sluts # 24" DVD, a bottle of Bourbon, and a bottle of lube. By the end of the night, both bottles are empty, and my room smells like jizz and puke.

7. Tell us about your style of leadership.

What I said: I lead by taking the initiative and working proactively with my peers to come up with solutions.

What I thought: I lead by playing "The Eye of the Tiger" on a boombox while pounding my fist on the table and shouting insults. (It works, I've done it)

8. If you don't get hired by this firm, what will you do?

What I said: I will analyze what I could have done better during the interview and take that knowledge with me into my next interview with [rival firm name].

What I thought: I will breath a sigh of relief that I won't be working for an asshole like you. Or I will stalk you and slit your throat. I haven't decided yet.

9. Do you have any questions for us?

What I said: Will I have a key so that I can come in and work on the weekends?

What I thought: Will I have a key so that I can come in and have sex with my girl friend on my desk on the weekends?

10. We value creativity among our associates. With that in mind, what kind of plant would you be, and why?

What I said: I would be a tree, because they are tall, strong, and live a long life.

What I thought: I would be a tree, so that I could fall on you and kill you


Absolutley hilarious! And, pretty spot on. I would add an Orbitz^TM like smile, of course at the end. Reeling them in. Hook, line, and sinker.

Water Cooler

Posted by: L

Long before law school, when I was just a Little L (in size, not height, because that hasn't changed since the 7th grade, haha) I loved tuning into courtroom dramas, especially "Law and Order." Then came "Boston Legal," with lovable (albeit neurotic) characters like Denny Crane and Alan Shore, that made me tune in religiously.

Now, in law school, the realization has sunk that things likely won't be as interesting and quick-to-trial as they were at 500 Boylston Street (and since I don't have a penchant for going into criminal prosecution, cases will not be as gory as they were in downtown Manhattan, phew). And, although fiction, I still look for the roof deck where Denny and Alan would share after-hours cocktails and cigars when I walk by.

(I'm not even going to go into the "Legally Blonde" series, because although Elle Woods who is highly "lovable," with her hot pink accessories and sassy wit and banter, no 1L would ever be called upon to represent a client and her vast hair care knowledge would not win her a murder trial. All lies, Elle!)

Well, for those of us who have a favorite ficticious lawyer, check out the ABA's list of "25 Greatest Fictional Lawyers" and see if yours made the list! Perry Mason, anyone?

One gal I'd like to see on here: Jane Bingum from Lifetime's "Drop Dead Diva."

Maybe next year. That's one show that if you're not watching, you're missing out! Don't get turned off because it is a Lifetime show, either. (I'm not a fan of the usual my-husband/boyfriend/fiance-absued-me, now-I'm-getting-revenge fare that is usually home to the network.) Read more about "Drop Dead Diva" here.

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Prettier on Monday?

Posted by: L

I found this neat tid-bit from our upstairs neighbor and wanted to share:

Pretty on Monday, Pretty Grim by Friday
76 minutes average British women spend on grooming to get ready for work on Mondays.
19 minutes average British women spend on grooming to get ready for work on Fridays.

Women spend four times as long making sure they look sharp for work at the beginning of the week than they do by the end, according to a survey of 1000 customers of British retail chain Debenhams. Men also let their attention to appearance slide as they week wears on, but over all spend much less time sprucing themselves up, from 28 minutes on Mondays to 11 minutes by Wednesday.

{Globe & Mail, Life Section, June 8, 2010}

Right now, I'm loafing around (11:30, Sunday night), thinking: I really need Mondays off, too, and Fridays. Even though I took four naps slept the weekend away really relaxed this weekend, work has a funny way of sneaking up on you, just when you're settling in, getting used to being with the people that mean the most to you and doing things that make you happy (instead of, you know, staring blankly at Excel for eight hours, running to meetings, and returning e-mails and phone calls). (Insert Snooki "Waaa" here.)

Even though the stats reported are from another country, I don't think there's much difference over here than there?

I do know that I shall not be spending the 76 minutes getting ready for tomorrow, though. Maybe 30, or 40 if you include one hit of the snooze button of the alarm, broken down as follows:

• 20 minutes: slide out of bed, shower, dry off, comb hair, if needed (tomorrow isn't a "wash hair" day!), lotions, hair product routine;
• 10 minutes: put on clothes, quick make-up routine (thanks to not having client meetings any more, the routine can be quick: bronzer, blush, mascara);
• 5 minutes: search for food, wonder why the choices are few and far between, vow to make lunches the night before, grab juice, fruit, fruit crisps, change of shoes;
• 5-10 minutes: grumbling, cursing and wondering why there is not a single Starbucks in the town I work in or on the way to work. (Addition? Yes.)
• Run out the door.

And the epilogue? Spend the next 1.5-2.5 hours in traffic; text girlfriends; sneak into desk.

How about you, Readers: how much time will you spend getting ready for work in the morning? Does your routine slide as the week ends? Chime in!

Water Cooler

Posted by: B

I had to make a phone call at work. I knew the number so there was no need to double check.

I dialed, assuming I knew where the numbers were located on the phone, I did not pay attention to the numbers I pressed.

After a couple of rings, I heard a recording about...

SEX!!

Ummm...what?!

I accidentally called a sex hotline!!

I got so freaked out - I was at work! - I hung up immediately, started to blush (obvs - it's not that hard to make me blush) and started to laugh hysterically.

Everyone was looking at me (obnoxious laughter in a quiet office tends to create a scene), so I did what every good employee does and told my co-workers about my embarrassing phone call.

Luckily when my manager and boss found out about this little snafu they made fun of me.

Water Cooler

Posted by: B

Background: Cizzle and B had a convo about their New Year celebrations. Cizzle's celebration is definition classic when she has a run in with the hotel manager so she gladly allowed B to share with all the CC readers. Enjoy.

Setting: Cizzle celebrated her New Years by hitting up several hotel parties in this swank, high class hotel. During one of the parties Cizzle managed to convince a dolled up guy to give her his top hat. Now, she has a top hat on and moves to the next party.

During the next party, Cizzle wonders off by herself to the hotel restaurant serving sushi. By the time she gets back to the party, Cizzle, with her top hat on, now has a handful of sushi.

When her friends asked her where the sushi came from and if she could get them more, she said she would be just a moment.

Curious, Cizzle's friends followed her to see where this sushi came from. They were beyond speechless when they saw exactly how Cizzle managed to get the sushi.

Evidently, Cizzle walked into the upscale hotel restaurant that was serving sushi. Walked up to an old couple at a table. Think refined, dignified. Poked the old couple on the shoulder and said: "Can I have some more sushi for my friends?"

The old, refined, dignified couple had terrified looks on their faces and handed her more sushi.

After receiving her sushi, Cizzle left the restaurant and was making her way back to the hotel party to give her friends the sushi she just scored, however, she was stopped by the hotel manager.

The hotel manager stood went off on Cizzle for having complete lack of class and acting like a beggar. Cizzle stood through a lecture with sushi in her hand and her top hat on trying to look sad and innocent.

Once the lecture was over, Cizzle apologized for taking the sushi and walked away.

Later, Cizzle and her friends ate the sushi and all thought it was top notch. Too bad the old couple didn't get to eat the sushi they ordered and paid for.

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Setting: Mid-November. B is at her desk in the front of the office. B's manager comes out to the front for a quick second. B and her manager start chatting.

Black Friday manages to come up in the convo and B without hesitation tells her manager how much she loves Black Friday and it should be a recognized holiday. B's manager had a little celebration for Black Friday too...her 25th Wedding Anniversary!!

Well after hearing this B was so ecstatic and said: "Oh my! That's wonderful!! What month did you get married in?" (sad part is B was completely serious at the time).

B's manager looks at her confused and simply says: "November".

B's only response: "Duh. You just said Black Friday was your anniversary and it is in November what a silly question...it's been a rough week".

Really B? Really?

Way to make an impression!

Water Cooler

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Text Message

To: K

From: L

I found a pregnancy test wrapper in the bathroom at work. Ghet-to. I'm on the East side today, obvi.

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Text Message

To: L

From: K

HaHaHaHaHa! Like, "well, better see if I am cooking a bun before I cook myself...wouldn't want to waste the minutes!"

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Moral of the Story: Keep your personal business just that-- personal. No, L probably won't ever know who was (most likely) saying a prayer in the Ladies Room¹, nor should she. But, things like this should be done privately.

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1. Cursing her boyfriend for telling her that condoms were "for sailors."

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Warning: major awkwardness to follow.

While at her internship, L sometimes finds sanctuary in the bathroom. She does the whole: fix the hair, check out the booty, sit on the bench and text. (You know the drill!) With male bosses, this is the one place she can go and be sure she won't be interrupted.

(And with the one woman in her department who is usually out of the office by noon because "her child is sick" and "has to go pick him up," the coast is usually clear.)

Except when others decide to invade her sanctuary.

L entered the bathroom saw that there were other occupants and decided to go into the stall first before wasting time.¹

L is finishing up her business and hears the following from a couple stalls over: "ohhhhh yeaaaaaa," followed by a few sniffles and the rumple of the toilet paper.

WHAT?!

Uhm, sorry but the words "oh" and "yea" should never be followed by one another in a sentence in the (need L remind you?) public. bathroom.

Actually, you should never be speaking while you're in the stall! Do you business and get out, you sick-o.

Gross.

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1. Number 1.

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Preface: Alright - as many of you now know, Guidos are somewhat of L's "guilty pleasure." She loves 'em! There's nothing that gets her going more than the orange skin, spikey hair, and big (tatted) muscles. However (! and this is a big however), it is merely entertainment.

Well, today at the tanning salon, a guid came in to tan. Normally L loves it when they come in -- they make her laugh because they're all dressed up with a gallon of hair gel in, their very best Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier/Affliction t-shirt on, just to strip down, sweat, and catch some homemade UVs. ¹ They're just hysterical.

But, not today. The wannabe guid came in.

Why is he a "wannabe guid" ?

Because he is 40 YEARS OLD, apparently trying to recapture his youth! He comes in, yelling at you - not in a malicious way, he just, well, talks in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

He's always adorned in his sweaty wife beater, highlighting his "guns," and gold chains around his neck. He probably drinks about three glasses of water from the water fountain in front of the desk before he goes to tan. (Probably because he just sweated out most of his body's water en route to the tanning salon from the gym.)

Today, he came in, I chuckled at the usual appearance and exchanged yelling conversation, and then he left after his tan.

Not more than ten minutes after his departure, he called L on the work phone to ask if he left his keys there. She takes the phone with her, looks, and then tells him "no."

I guess the appropriate "thank you," was to ask L if she had a boyfriend, because that's exactly what he did!!

Uhm... it is clear that you are well more than ten years my senior, sir. And frankly, I do not want to go deaf from listening to you yell for more than ten minutes. Thankyouverymuch.²

L gave the standard response, "oh I do, and he would probably be pretty mad! ha ha But, thank you!" (Said with the Orbitz smile you can see through the phone so as not to offend.)

After that incident, L texted B so she could share the beginning of the deets:

Text Message

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To: B

From: L

So the 40 yr old wannabe guid just called me on the work phone to ask if I had a bf...story to follow

Text Message

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To: L

From: B

OMG!!!! hahahaha These things only happen to you!

I think I'm a meathead magnet!

Does anyone else (not living in the tri-state) attract Guidos like bees to honey?

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1. And if it isn't Goose it's good in L's book!

2. Having dated a number of guids, they're fun for the first few months, but after hearing about their special diets, their gym routine, some new HGH supplements they want to try (over and over), it gets really old, really fast.

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Literally, almost.

Pictured below is the view directly across from L's cube at her grown up job. It took her about three weeks to take notice what was going on in there-- after all, the cubes all look the same, and she feels like a little mouse walking through the maze of it all week after week.

But then, this happened:

Yea, I'm pretty sure he was sneaking a sandwich out of his MINI FRIDGE!!!

Really, who has a mini fridge in their cube? (And why can't I have one?)

Is this even ok to have??

Maybe next week he will have a mini microwave, you know, to reheat his sangies.

What would you put in your mini fridge?

Water Cooler

Return of the Bicyclist

To recap: B & L posted a Water Cooler regarding a bicyclist being paintballed by a motorist. The lesson: "while bicyclists can be annoying to motorists, motorists can be down right dangerous to bicyclists."

But that doesn't mean bicyclists cannot put a motorist in a somewhat dangerous position. Case in point: C, an intern at B's office, was verbally abused by a bicyclist! Want to the deets? Keep reading!

C was driving down the main road in her home town - two lanes, minding her own business. Then she came upon a bicyclist. A bicyclist that was riding his bike in the middle of the road - right in between the two lanes, not off to the side!

Not wanting to get close to the bicyclist, and ready to be on her way, C hooks once, and tries to have the bicyclist move to the side so she can safely pass by. Unfortunately for C, the bicyclist does not move. He keeps peddling down the middle of the road!

So, instead of keeping a steady 15 mph behind him, she passes him, praying that there won't be any oncoming cars headed her way. She is ahead of the bicyclist! But, C's luck does not stay that way for long.

C approaches a four-way intersection and like a polite, law-abiding motorist, she stops. The bicyclist catches up and takes advantage of C's stopped car and proceeds to bang on her window! He demands for her to get out of her car so that he can continue to berate her outside the safety of her vehicle. She looks at him like he is a crazy person, and mouths the word "no," over and over. He threatens to call the police, while he continues to bang on her window, if she does not get out. She, of course, continues to say no,¹ desperately hoping there's a clear so she can speed away from him!

So, when she gets a chance to go through the intersection, she does while the bicyclist pulls off to the side of the road to call the cops on poor petite C!

...and now we shall have to update our lesson to include a warning that bicyclists may become abusive!

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1. Come on! Like you would actually get out of the car.

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Setting: L is at the tanning salon, waiting patiently for the big hand on the clock to go from the 8 to the 9. Ten minutes left and she can get out of this oven. The temperature has not gone below 80 degrees all day-- with the air conditioner on. Thank goodness for a little plastic $10 fan, likely from Target.¹

L is upstairs cleaning the one of the bedrooms, the phone rings. Lucky for her, she brought the cordless with her upstairs, as she just finished chatting with the Boss-man.

Good little L, that multi-tasker. (Someone ought to give her a raise!)

"Good Afterno--" she gets cut off, and there is no one on the other end.

She makes her way downstairs. Mid-flight, the phone rings again.

"Good Afternoon, Tanning Salon on the West Side," she says as she rounds the corner.

There leaning over the front desk, waiting, is a gentleman. This particular gentleman was on his cell phone. Normally, that would be fine but then the man sees L, flips his cell closed, and replies, "Oh. There you are."

Really? You really just called me from the front desk? Twice? And actually hung up on me the first time? I wasn't gone for more than two minutes and you certainly did not pull into the parking lot before I went upstairs. Excuse me, sir, for not being here, ready to wait on you when you needed it. Didn't realize your tan was that important.²

L glared at him, her inside thoughts clearly making it known through the stare, and politely asked him his last name, and tanned him.

Out of sight out of mind.

Lesson: In places where you frequent often, knowing fully well that there is only one person working, and clearly see her belongings³ on the front desk, be patient!

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1. A Godsend!
2. And, he wasn't even a guido!

3. Belongings being Outlines and Dolce glasses, trying to study here!!

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Setting: B is on break with another intern at one of her college internships when the topic of bicyclists came up.

Now, we have all had at least one experience with a bicyclist-- either in our way or not waiting at a red light, or instead, riding their bikes into the middle of the intersection and oncoming traffic making every motorist stop or yield to them because, after all, who really wants to hit the person on the bike?

Well it just so happens that the other intern has a friend that used to be a bicyclist. B picks up the on the wording, "used to be," and automatically wonders what happened. So, she asks. The other interns tells her the story:

"Well, she was riding her bike one day when a car pulled up beside her. The kids in the car took out a paintball gun and started shooting paintballs at her. She came home covered in them and had bruises from them too."

Lesson: While bicyclists can be annoying to motorist, motorists can be down right dangerous to bicyclists.

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Goose: Exposed.

Setting & Introduction: L pulls into the tanning salon's parking lot to start her work day off a bit late, but she figures it's OK, because it's June and not January, which means less to do in the mornings (Read: the beds and booths don't have to be warmed up for the full time, just 5 or so minutes will do.) and usually there isn't anyone waiting for you to unlock the door so they can hurry up and get their tan on like there is in the colder months.

Not today.

The first thing L see is "Goose,¹" sitting in his beat-up red pickup. Goose, a 62-year-old man, comes in at 6'5'', 280lbs, and built like a truck. He has been tanning since the place opened over 10 years ago. He is really close to one of the girls that worked there every night. She's gone, but he still comes in and thinks everyone is on the same close level that he was with her. To give everyone a better understanding of Goose he's THAT guy who stands over the counter for as long as he can, with his old sweatshirt, old sweatpants (of course with butt-crack showing), and some new lotion mixture he has concocted in his spare time. (Let's not even think about what he puts in it!) Goose's favorite pastime while at the tanning salon? Isn't it obvious?? It is telling you the same four stories: how dark he is, how often he checks his tan with the black light, what he likes to stock his fridge with, and his t-shirt collection. L knows them all by heart! (Come on now, wouldn't you if that was all you heard!)

L pulls in next to him, and gives him a friendly wave. (Just like retail, you have to smile and be everyone's BFF. Actually, it's probably more like being a hairdresser. For the two minutes while people sign in, figure out how long they want to bake for, and pick out a lotion, they often dump their day's trials and tribulations on you...like you care.) Goose points to his watch, signaling that I'm late to open.

"Really? It's not even that close to 9am I still have a good 15 minutes...what time did you get here??² "

Goose strolls in, tells L that she isn't even tan after her fab vaca to Aruba and insists on comparing arm tans for a good 20 minutes (sorry Goose, we all don't fry up like a strip of bacon on vaca). Goose then describes today's secret lotion concoction-- a mixture of a couple low-end accelerators, one high-end bronzer, and some oil. ("You know, oil is the key ingredient here, because it doesn't dry up right away..blablabla" - just tune it out, this is why you purchase the tanning lotions so you DON'T have to think about it)

Goose goes on for another 20 minutes about how dark he is and how he likes to check his tan under the black light he has in his bedroom. You know, the one next to his California King-sized water bed. "Oh yea!" (Insert your own eye roll here.)

L tells him firmly that if he gets any darker, he is clearly not allowed to check the box next to "Caucasian," while wondering to herself, "where is everyone this morning? Pleaseeee someone come in!"

Finally, after a few more not-awkward-at-all moments of Goose pulling up his sweatshirt to show me his "black" belly, rolling up his sleeves so we can both examine how dark his scars got, because you know, they just don't tan as well as the rest of him because of the scar tissue, and inching his sweatpants down, ever-so-slightly, to expose his thigh, and ultimately reinforce that, yes, he really is dark, Goose is ready to tan. He instructs L to meet him upstairs after his lamps go off so L can see how dark he got. Because, really, right after he's done, he is just bron-ze!

(Yea, not gunna happen, there, Goose.)

Thankfully, he goes upstairs, tans, and new people come in. (New people are great when you need to be distracted. You can sit there for a minute, explain to them their different options and hang out while they fill out paperwork. Not entertaining when it's busy, but, like L said, a good excuse to not see Goose's freshly baked skin.)

Goose comes down, moisturizes and then wants to talk about his tan for another 20 minutes. (Again, why aren't more people coming in this morning??) Wanting to show me how the black light really can point out your whitest sports, he summons L into the bathroom, keeps the light off, and takes off his sweatshirt.

L attempts to pacify Goose (Ladies, we all know what to say to make the guys happy to shut them up and don't pretend like you don't!!) by saying: "Oh, yup. There you go! Just under your armpits! White as a ghost. But not the rest of you. No, no, no. You are BLAACK!³"

Unfortunately Goose replies: "Yea, oh here, I'm not modest.."

Goose then pulls down his sweatpants so L can see the white spot above his crack (pressure point that doesn't tan if you always lay down in a bed for all you non-tanners out there), but he doesn't stop there, he keeps going!

Sweatpants: off.

Ok, at least his back is to me. (Nakedness doesn't really bother L. Especially not here at a tanning salon, when you're likely to accidentally walk in on someone.⁴)

Goose admires himself in the mirror for a few more minutes. (Why is L still standing there? Oh yea, Goose needs the compliments and hell, no one else is coming in.)

And then he turns around.

In all his 62-year-old glory, L see the Goose peen. Tan (!) and sagging.

All L can think of at this very moment is, "Oh, my girlfriends at their grown-up jobs are going to be soo jealous when I tell them!!"

"Ok, you put your clothes back on before someone comes in!" L kids (not really.) and closes the door, walking away, and hurrying to her phone to text the masses. (B being one of the masses who P.S. laughs out loud, literally not just blogging that, everyone in her office turned and look at her like she has lost her mind).

As if that wasn't enough, Goose gets dressed, and needs to talk about how dark he is some more. L look at the clock: 11:02. (Alright, enough already. L has seen PLENTLY of Goose to last her a lifetime and then some.)

Goose has been here for over 2 hours. (Someone please get this man a job!)

L announces the time and Goose FINALLY takes a hint and gets going.. leaving the image of all 6'5'', 280 lbs, and nothing but a saggy crotch, burned into L's retinas forever (so not an exaggeration).

So worth the little salary.

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1. Names have been changed to protect the innocent...errr not so innocent as you will read on!

2. L usually doesn't officially "wake up" until 10:30. The morning coffee hasn't kicked in yet and she's probably just rushed around her house like the usual mad-woman trying to pack up everything for the day and later evening commute into Boston for class. Yea, she knows.."helps if you plan ahead and get things ready the night before." Falls on deaf ears. Moving on..
3. The best compliment a Goose can get: "You are BLACK!" He loves it! Hey, we all have goals, I guess.
4. Still waiting for the day when something goes wrong with the DILF's booth or bed. Don't you worry, DILF, L is right here and ready to help. You want lotion on your back? Ohh.. I'm your girl!