For both ladies and guys, when you break up, the line "we should still be friends," or any variation thereof, should just be left out of the conversation.1
One of the hardest parts of breaking up is getting used to not having that special someone in your life. But, lets all be honest with one another and save the dramatics.
L definitely feels like guys definitely get the short end of the stick with this one. So, let's get this straight: you want "to be friends," so you can call him, complain about your life, hem and haw about all your life's little intricacies, and then he doesn't get at least a courtesy beej at the end?? Right.
Granted, some times, yes, you are better off as friends and it's great to have someone that has known you from 'way back when'. But, tread lightly. You don't want to put yourself in a position where you end up being that person's crutch, carrying around your past-relationship baggage, nor do you want to harbor feelings of jealousy when that person is in a good relationship because you can't help but wonder why they could not have been that way for you.
Lesson: Think carefully before you enter "Friendville". The person is not in your life in the boyfriend/girlfriend capacity any more, do you really need them as a "friend"? If you answered yes - then actually act as a friend. Don't expect to talk to them every day. Don't expect them to tell you everything. Be a friend and if you realize it is too hard on the other person - back off so that the other can cope.
But, most importantly: make sure to take time for yourself after a break up. Get back to the things you may have been missing out on, the friends that you haven't spent time with in a while, and do what you want to do!
Good luck and keep your heads up!
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